he's back

Apr. 29th, 2007 11:48 am
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The dubya movie has a sequel (at the same URL). Twice the fun! They say it's also up on YouTube, but I can't seem to find it there.
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Disney drives another nail into Edward Bear's coffin with a new movie. Elsewhere, the discussion included someone saying that the series wasn't so bad when Disney was doing adaptations; that they only got awful when they started doing original material. I beg to differ. No, that's not emphatic enough. I DIFFER!

Wasn't it the first movie that had the godawful scene where they're playing Pooh Sticks and Eeyore comes floating by? In the original, the dialog reads something like this:

"What are you doing, Eeyore?" cried Rabbit.

"I'll give you three guesses, Rabbit." said Eeyore. "Digging holes in the ground? Wrong. Jumping from limb to limb of a young oak tree? Wrong. Floating on my back in the water, waiting for someone to pull me out? Right. Good old Rabbit. Give him time, and he'll always get the right answer."

Pure Eeyore. Unhappy, bitter, and sarcastic. In the movie, it came out something like this:

RABBIT: What are you doing, Eeyore?

EEYORE: I'll give you three guesses, Rabbit.

POOH (or somebody): Digging holes in the ground?

EEYORE: Wrong.

PIGLET: Jumping from limb to limb of a young oak tree?

EEYORE: Wrong.

RABBIT: Floating on your back in the water, waiting for someone to pull you out?

EEYORE: Right. Good old Rabbit. Give him time (etc.)

Pure bleeding Disney garbage. The exchange is divided up in a way that makes no sense whatsoever, and serves only to remove the point from one of the choicest bits of sarcasm ever written. Right up there with Linus's "Why don't you take a pill for relief of nausea caused by sight of little brother clutching blanket?" and MAD's "What does the button [by the hospital bed] do? Nobody knows. Maybe it lights the Christmas tree on the White House lawn."

I might buy into the premise that the early ones are less disgusting than the later ones. In fact, I wholeheartedly endorse it and declare it to be true as long as nobody requires me to take even the briefest look at any of the series at all to back it up.
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In my blog reading, somebody quoted someone else quoting Shakespeare and thinking it was from the Bible. I followed the link and discovered the interesting citation below in a brief discussion of the "seven deadly sins," which don't appear in scripture (not even apocryphal).

"Also of interest is a Scriptural list that bears at least some similarity to the historical list of seven. Proverbs 6:16-19 reveals:
These six things the Lord hates, Yes, seven are an abomination to Him: A proud look, A lying tongue, Hands that shed innocent blood, A heart that devises wicked plans, Feet that are swift in running to evil, A false witness who speaks lies, And one who sows discord among brethren."

Oh, that reminds me of a wonderful, wonderful cheap shot somebody on line took at George W. Bush. One of those moments where I say, "Oh, of course!" Just thought of that.
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For the past day or so I was engaged in delicate negotiations with Bob to go see a movie Saturday night (which was tonight). Earlier in the day, the whole thing was off. Then it was on again, as Bob called me from the mall and asked if I still wanted to see a movie -- most likely The Incredibles, since Mrs. Bob wasn't up for Team America. Bob also mentioned that this place on the mall had Invader Zim action figures, and also filled me in that the second and third Zim DVD sets were out, completing the series. Oh, and then later he called and said Mrs. B's cold had taken a turn for the worse, so he was going to do the nursemaid thing, and the movie was off.

That, to me, meant one thing: I'd be seeing Team America. And I did. And it was, well, fairly amusing, though not as much as the South Park movie had been. After a while I was looking at my watch, and by the end, when the obligatory murders of misguided liberals were going down, I was thinking of my post-movie plans. On balance, there was maybe 30 minutes of inspired, first-rate material, another 30 of solid yuks, and another 38 of humor by-products. None of the songs was that great, but when they did the end credits, they did them as a medley, so none of them was on long enough to be really boring, so that was nice. The projectionist cut off the final word, which I expect was "carring."

As I endured the exit lines from the theater, I remembered Bob's words from earlier in the day: Invader Zim DVD sets. Wal-Mart. I was in the center where K-Mart was, so I looked there first. Then I went to Wal-Mart and poked around until I found both sets (and some dollar DVDs that I expect to get my six bucks of entertainment from later on), and drove home, enjoying the funny effect the Doppler Shift had on street lights. Once inside, I chatted briefly with Cathy, and then nipped back to the computer and put a Zim disk in. It was the wrong disk. I tried again, and found what I was looking for: "Zim Eats Waffles." I watched it.

Now, even if the world ends before morning, I have seen "Zim Eats Waffles." It's all right for you to envy me. Heck, I'd be envious too. Every bit of it was super. It was, as my title will amply verify, an imcomparable viewing experience. And there are more unaired Zim episodes in the set waiting for my attention.

Life is sweet, ya know?
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About thirty years ago, my sister and I were watching Starr Yelland, who hosted Denver's "Dialing for Dollars" movie weekdays from three to five. Yelland seemed almost embarrassed as he recounted the unusual circumstances of today's movie. They had shown it a while back, and it got such a response, they found themselves practically obliged to run it again. And he seemed to think it was an odd movie. We watched raptly as the movie unfolded: it was a 1964 Czech musical take-off on Western movies, and it was called Lemonade Joe.

Liminodavy Joe, as it is known, was the tale of a tall, straight-shootin', lemonade-drinkin' cowboy and his crusade against whiskey drinking, and it went by so fast we hardly knew what we were seeing, but we were amazed. Years later, we still talk about it. Years later, I still look in vain for it in the movie section of the TV listings. I wasn't the only one.

The same broadcast was watched by a pair of beady eyes belonging to my future pal Randy. He, too, obsessed upon the picture, and he tried in vain to describe it to people. Then, just before Cathy and Sarah and I journeyed out to Fort Collins, my old home town and now home of Mister Randy, the good fellow was looking at videos at the public library and what should he see but Liminodavy Joe, on a spanking new VHS tape. Randy says he practically pushed someone aside when he saw it. He checked it out and saved it -- yes, that's what a great pal I have, he saved it for a day or two -- and we all watched it together a couple of times. First we went to my old roommate Sam's place and watched it on his 45-inch screen. It was incredible! Better than I remembered!

For one thing, I didn't really remember how many musical numbers there were. Considering the economics of local TV, maybe some of them were cut for time and mildly risque content. We were all gobsmacked by the constant invention in the movie. It was a 1930s stage musical in Czechoslovakia, but a lot of the funny bits were pure cinema -- simple trick shots and sight gags you couldn't do on a stage every night. One of my favorites was just a shot of Joe looking over a cliff and leaning at a purely gravity-defying angle. Watching it again last night (yes, dear reader, I am truly rich) I was delighted by the scene where two of the villains are talking over dinner at the saloon's bar. One of them expresses misgiving over some of the other's -- his brother's -- evil deeds. As the misgiver looks away, the evil brother quietly snags the far glass and pours something into it from a compartment in his ring, then idly swirls it briefly as he looks innocently over at the dancing girls. Then, without ever putting it down, he drinks it down in a gulp and emits a "bromo" belch.

I was able to watch it last night because when we came home from Colorado, we ordered it from Amazon or Facets. It came soon after, but there was a piece of plastic loose inside the case, broken off of the supply reel. It sat around a while before we sent it back, and they took some time with it, but it came this week, and life is good, you know?

I have found mention of a cheap DVD for sale in parts Bohemian, but I can't find the "buy now" tab. I'd gladly spring for it. Our VHS is subtitled, which is a nice change from the TV version we saw before -- I think it works better this way. The DVD is wide-screen, has additional scenes, and is partly dubbed and partly subtitled. Whatever. I want it!

I also want to see if I can talk a local group into putting this show on. I see it's been translated into English, and it's a recent translation that (I believe) takes advantage of the movie for some of the humor.

I will return to the topic. Interested parties can look online and find out more about this great cinematic experience. Learn some of the great lines at fan sites. Note the name of the lead actress and google for a picture of her -- hot stuff. Mostly, be jealous of me, or the whole experience loses a little of its sparkle. Hah!
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