My tweets

• Wed, 17:35: "Yoooou killed me, Mallenby!" the disembodied voice moaned. "Yooooou killed me… and yoooou were a reeeeal asshole about it!"
• Wed, 19:03: RT @Green_Footballs: Must-read judge's ruling shows the sleazy extent of the Center for Medical Progress conspiracy https://t.co/m4iIWunqgF
• Wed, 19:15: RT @LisaBloom: My statement re court's decision today in James Woods' $10 million lawsuit against my client John Doe for one tweet. https:/…
• Wed, 19:17: RT @rik_ferguson: The lady who invented predictive text died today. Her funfair is next monkey.
• Wed, 19:37: Driving around today, I kept snickering over Jimmy Cross's "I Want My Baby Back," and the line, "She was SO full of li-ife."
• Thu, 10:48: When I saw my urologist, I made sure I was carrying a bottle of water. That's how you kiss up to a urologist.