some explanations

[kip_w]

We're here because good communication is essential. I sometimes think cars should be able to call each other. Just dial the license plate. Since you can't (and probably that's a good thing), I have called this session. Who wants an explanation?

Yes, you: Why did I honk at you? Because you knocked yourself out to get in front of me when there was a whole block of empty road behind me, and once you were there you slowed down to 5 miles an hour below the speed limit. What's that? If the speed limit is safe, then going slower must be even safer? You need help. Next?

You over there: What was I saying? I presume you're referring to the incident where you cut me off and after I labored behind you for a block, during which time you slowed down and sped up randomly, I finally managed to pass you. At that point, I said something, and you -- no lip reader -- were hollering "What did you say? WHAT DID YOU SAY??" Really, does it matter what I said? Would anything I said have caused a light bulb to go off over your head and realize that you are a moron and shouldn't be allowed out without learning that you're not the only one on the road? I don't actually remember what I said, but what if it was, "Get Wildroot Cream Oil, Charlie!"? Does that not satisfy you, or should I make up something else?

One more. Nobody? There were other hands up when I started. No one? Okay, see you later.

Comments

one more

[kip-w.livejournal.com]

You, sir? Ah, another "what were you saying" question. If I recall, you dashed in front of me and then slowed down in front of me to a near crawl with no signal and then sat there to make a turn, leaving me no choice but to go around you, and you're wondering what I was saying as you looked over at me? Well, I know this will sound silly, but I was staring absent-mindedly over in your direction, thinking nothing in particular, but just singing along to a classic recording of "He's an Asshole" by Annette and the Mice, and as you looked up, the whole band and I were loudly chanting "Asshole! Asshole! Asshole!" for a total of eight times. I guess you were just caught in the crossfire.

You're welcome!

one more

[kip-w.livejournal.com]

Oh, sorry, you folks in the back? Okay, you would be the folks who skipped over the long line I was waiting in and got the usual suckers to let you in at the front and made me wait through another light. Well, I kind of resented the inconvenience, and that's why I took a picture of your car, traced the license, went to your house and smashed all your car windows.

Then I started to feel bad and got to thinking: what about proportion? what about punishment appropriate to the offense? And that's why I torched your house.

Okay, I'm off. Drive carefully!