newark. cyst.
Dec. 10th, 2004 08:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kip_w.
"A CALMING INFLUENCE. Nykia Crawford, who had a cyst removed in Newark, N.J., was nervous until she got a Game Boy, said her mother, Shani Willis. [story above]"
As I saw this random paragraph in the paper today, I could just about hear a late-night comic commenting on it. The tune was there, but not the words. And yet, there's so much potential! Newark! A cyst! Game Boy! Why, there must be three or four real chuckles in there. If only we could find them! What wonderful things would those jokes tell us? And why aren't we looking for them? Why are we still importing yoks from abroad, and relying on untried Canadian stand-ups for our most vital humor positions?
You can say it's hopeless, but I refuse to give up. We must work together, and restore America to its rightful place as the Funniest Nation On Earth. We can do it! I don't have all the answers, but I have some suggestions for people funnier than myself to work on.
We can't do ethnic humor any more, but what about humor based on previously unexploited physical differences? What's the last time you heard -- or made -- a good joke about double-jointed people, or the pigeon-toed? A good starting point is for them to make the jokes themselves, and then you can repeat them. If anybody gets mad, you get defensive and say that you heard it yourself from a repeat knuckle-cracker, so WHERE'S THE HARM?
Numbers are underappreciated sources of humor. I blame innumeracy, but I think if we start simple, with witty bon mots on funny digits (and don't forget the smutty ones!) and simple operations, and once the populace is 'hep' to us, we can pull out the real knee-slappers. Like, N! (N factorial) is the product of the series A times B times C times D... and so on up to N. I made that one up myself!
Literalism is good, too. Okay, I can't go on right now. I have to go to work, where I use much of my brain for the task of not being funny. But I'd like to leave you with something. Ah. Here's something. I went into this night club, because I heard they had a great piano player. I was somewhat disappointed, though, when he started. His hands were clumsy, and mostly stayed put on a single position and played a boring "oom-pah" accompaniment. That only went on a few seconds, though, and to my amazement, he put his face down on the keys and started playing a solo! His lips were incredibly strong. He could play smooth scales, and by holding his jaw at different angles, he was able to perform glissandos in thirds and fifths. The most amazing thing was how he did a trill. He held his hands away from the keys so we could see it was just done with his mouth. I was so impressed, I went up to him during a break and told him he had fantastic chops.
.
"A CALMING INFLUENCE. Nykia Crawford, who had a cyst removed in Newark, N.J., was nervous until she got a Game Boy, said her mother, Shani Willis. [story above]"
As I saw this random paragraph in the paper today, I could just about hear a late-night comic commenting on it. The tune was there, but not the words. And yet, there's so much potential! Newark! A cyst! Game Boy! Why, there must be three or four real chuckles in there. If only we could find them! What wonderful things would those jokes tell us? And why aren't we looking for them? Why are we still importing yoks from abroad, and relying on untried Canadian stand-ups for our most vital humor positions?
You can say it's hopeless, but I refuse to give up. We must work together, and restore America to its rightful place as the Funniest Nation On Earth. We can do it! I don't have all the answers, but I have some suggestions for people funnier than myself to work on.
We can't do ethnic humor any more, but what about humor based on previously unexploited physical differences? What's the last time you heard -- or made -- a good joke about double-jointed people, or the pigeon-toed? A good starting point is for them to make the jokes themselves, and then you can repeat them. If anybody gets mad, you get defensive and say that you heard it yourself from a repeat knuckle-cracker, so WHERE'S THE HARM?
Numbers are underappreciated sources of humor. I blame innumeracy, but I think if we start simple, with witty bon mots on funny digits (and don't forget the smutty ones!) and simple operations, and once the populace is 'hep' to us, we can pull out the real knee-slappers. Like, N! (N factorial) is the product of the series A times B times C times D... and so on up to N. I made that one up myself!
Literalism is good, too. Okay, I can't go on right now. I have to go to work, where I use much of my brain for the task of not being funny. But I'd like to leave you with something. Ah. Here's something. I went into this night club, because I heard they had a great piano player. I was somewhat disappointed, though, when he started. His hands were clumsy, and mostly stayed put on a single position and played a boring "oom-pah" accompaniment. That only went on a few seconds, though, and to my amazement, he put his face down on the keys and started playing a solo! His lips were incredibly strong. He could play smooth scales, and by holding his jaw at different angles, he was able to perform glissandos in thirds and fifths. The most amazing thing was how he did a trill. He held his hands away from the keys so we could see it was just done with his mouth. I was so impressed, I went up to him during a break and told him he had fantastic chops.
.
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no subject
Date: 2004-12-10 05:31 am (UTC)We can gradually work our way up to material like this:
Q. What's green and can be solved using boundary-value methods?
A. Parsley Differential Equations!
no subject
Date: 2004-12-17 03:29 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-17 10:22 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2004-12-17 10:24 am (UTC)