first draft of A CHRISTMAS MOVIE

[kip_w]

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Mean old Scrooge is visited by spirits of Christmas. Seeing his past makes him so bitter and despondent he wishes he was never born, so an angel comes and shows him how life would be if he hadn't been. Because he hadn't existed, Rudolph doesn't get to pull the sleigh, Ralphie shoots his eye out, and Santa decides to sell out to a soulless corporation that cancels Christmas. With no Christmas, Jesus is never born, causing an unemployed drummer boy to go berserk and assassinate three kings whose influence was needed to keep the Samaritan Empire from conquering Rome before it can bring Greek civilization to the world. Scrooge repents his despair but is told that wishes are non-refundable. Somewhere, Gary Coleman — or what corresponds to him in this strange world — is crying.
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Comments

[barondave.livejournal.com]

Santa having sold out, the Martians remain unconquered and their war of the worlds succeeds except for one brave soul leading his men several leagues under the sea. They establish base camp at a mysterious island until James Bond, now working for the invaders, leads a group of ninjas into the island fortress and stops the rebels.

[meggins.livejournal.com]

Gurk!

[rtred.livejournal.com]

Awesome. I'd go see it.